This Election Season has been the longest in human history.  So, the Street has decided it's time for some fun, just 2 weeks to the day before America casts its vote.  The following has been making its way around the e-mailsphere and is a pretty funny read...especially if you have lived in or covered California...


You Know You're from California when…

The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

You were born somewhere else. [you and the other 16 million Californians.]

Your sense of direction is not east and west, it’s Toward the ocean and away from the ocean.

You actually drive to your neighborhood block party.

You eat at In n Out burger at least once a week

You know how to eat an artichoke.

You live next door to real Mexicans.

The guy at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS actually George Clooney.

Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

You don't care what race people are...you're too busy wondering what gender they are.

You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

You say "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "be chill" and "tight" and "bro" and "hell of" or "hella"(Nor Cal only), "stoked" and "fo sho"… and you say them often

Our Governor can kick your Governor’s ass.

You can wear sandals/flip-flops all year long. And you do.

You go to the Beach - not "down to the shore."

You know 65 mph really means 115.

When someone cuts you off, they get the horn and the hand gesture and high speed chase cuz we dont [mess] around on the road.

You can go out at midnight. [Any earlier would be, well, uncool.]

You judge people based on what Area Code they live in, and when asked where you're from, you give your area code. [The 310, for example)

We don't stop at stop signs... we do a "California roll."
No cop, no stop, baby!

You can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day.

We are the birthplace of In ‘n Out Burger.

We have the most representation in the House of Representatives, which means our opinion means more than yours… which means we're better than you.

The best athletes come from here.

One word: Disneyland! [or is that two?]

We have The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf …which is way better than Starbucks.

Your monthly house payments actually exceed your annual income.

You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.

You consult your horoscope before planning your day.

All highways into the state say: "no fruits." [and we’re not talking about gay marriage]

You can't remember . . . is pot illegal? [for the record: I do not support drugs of any kind]

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"

It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California.

You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S. [update: uh, make that $2.00]

A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.

The normal symbols on restrooms elsewhere in America mean, sadly, in California "people wearing pants" and "people wearing skirts".

Both you AND your dog have therapists.

You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.

You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones…[text messaging, of course!]