Last night’s Republican win in Massachusetts is, in a word, phenomenal.  The New York Times is showing a “before & after” map this morning, illustrating just how Blue the state’s map was just one short year ago, and just how Red that map is today.

Given this sea change in such a short period, politicos will no doubt be sifting through the voter data over the next day or two to tell us what all of this means.  In the meantime, here are a few observations from the Street:

•    During last year’s Election, Obama won by a whopping 45% in Massachusetts.  In 364 days, the state has taken a direct 180 degree turn.  What a difference a year makes.

•    While this Election was certainly an absolute referendum on the Obama Administration, the Election wasn’t just about Healthcare.  Political insiders have told MSNBC’s Norah O’Donnell that the strongest issue in Scott Brown’s internal Campaign polling, was (wait for it…) TERRORISM.  Yep, Terrorism.  Not Healthcare.  Voters were extremely concerned about the Administration’s bungling of the Khalid Sheik Mohammed trial being moved to civilian courts and the Administration’s rush to provide top-notch attorneys to Terrorists who should actually be tried as enemy combatants.  Perhaps this can be explained by the fact that TWO of the airplanes used in the 9/11 Terror attacks departed from Boston that day.  Whatever the case, the fact that Terror became an issue in this Election is truly significant.

•    You’d probably never guess what else this liberal-State Electorate supported in overwhelming numbers:  Waterboarding.  Yes, you heard correctly.  Brown’s own internal polling showed that voters in the Liberal state of Massachusetts overwhelmingly support Waterboarding to gain intelligence from Terrorists.  This Electorate included MANY Independents, so we’re not just talking about a bunch of Dick Cheney Republicans here.  This is a clear backlash to the Obama Administration’s handling of Terror suspects, and in my view is perhaps the biggest story to come out of the campaign.  As a National Security chick, I hope it gets discussed more over the next couple of days.

•    Obviously Scott Brown’s victory was a statement against the establishment. But Republicans need to be careful.  This means Republicans, in some cases. During his Victory speech, Scott Brown never mentioned – not once – the word “Republican.”  By no means should Republicans be dancing in the endzone – yet.

•    In fact, Brown mentioned the word “Independent” at least a dozen times, signaling that although he may caucus with the Republican Party, give the Republican response to the State of the State Address next week, and so forth… he may seek to at least project the appearance of a more “independent” candidate.

•    In fact,  Brown had no strong Party structure behind him. His Victory Party was not organized by the Massachusetts GOP - heck, there is hardly even a Massachusetts GOP!  By no means in Brown a “Party guy” in the old sense of the word.

•    The same goes for the Tea Party Patriots.  According to all reports, there was no real grassroots boots-on-the-ground Tea Party movement for Scott Brown during the campaign, either.  Most of the groundwork was performed by Mitt Romney's team, having served there in the Governor's office.  There is one exception, and that is the Tea Party Express/Move America Forward PACs, which came in with significant TV buys for Brown in the final few weeks.  But as for the true “grassroots” movement that the Tea Party Patriots so proudly boast about, I’m not sure you can call this a “Tea Party victory,” either.

•    There’s another interesting theme at work among the three Republicans who have won recently: Scott Brown in Massachusetts; McDonnell in Virginia; and Chris Christie in New Jersey.  They ALL ran during Special Elections.  This means the Candidates campaigned for shorter periods of time (this means fewer opportunities for mistakes), and that there is an advantage to Republicans running during these pressure-cooker moments (i.e., when the 60th vote on Healthcare hangs in the balance; when Virginia held a Special Election to backfill the Governor’s post; and when Governor Chris Christie was elected in a Special Election in New Jersey).  Which all the more proves my favorite Skull & Bones theory: that there is” opportunity in Chaos.”  That seems to ring all the more true when it comes to Republicans this Election season. Now, if we can just keep that chaos going…

•    All in all, this is a HUGE victory for Republicans. The simple fact that a great many independent and super-Liberal , old-guard Massachusetts voters actually walked into a polling place, crossed over, and checked the box that had an “R” next to it…  well, that trumps all.  In fact, it is Wicked Awesome if you ask me.

Today, on this Martin Luther King holiday, take a moment to watch Dr. King's historic address in Washington, D.C.:
http://www.mlkonline.net/video-i-have-a-dream-speech.html

I Have a Dream
Martin Luther King, Jr’s Address at the March on Washington
August 28, 1963, Washington, D.C.

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation. [Applause]

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity.

But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition.

In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

This week’s “Sunday Best” award goes to… Will Smith.

No, not that Will Smith.

This weekend, the Capitol community laid to rest one of its finest : Chief of Staff Will Smith.

Will was the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off his back – even though you probably should have been lending him yours.  As Chief of Staff for one of the leading Legislators in California, Will always took time out of his busy schedule to help people with whatever they asked for – in my case, the State Capitol Permits for the historic Tea Parties of 2009 and urgent Press Conferences on California’s State Budget.

My favorite memory of Will’s gracious spirit occurred when I was holding a Press Conference on the Capitol steps to protest Tax increases.  The group I was with wanted to use a special prop for the Press Conference and, as Mother Nature would have it, we found ourselves caught in gale force winds that day.  In the hour leading up to the Press Conference, the prop kept blowing over. And over. And over. No matter how many times we set it upright, it would blow over again.  Worried, I searched everywhere for something that would hold down the prop.  Sandbags. Weights. Something.  But I was out of time. We would have to take our chances.  

Just as the Press Conference began, the wind began to pick up again. But somehow, the prop wasn’t falling over as it had before. How could this be?  Wondering if someone had heard my cry for heavy sandbags, I quietly walked behind the staging area so I could get a glimpse.  And there stood Will and his staff, grinning, and holding onto the prop for dear life so it wouldn’t blow away. That was Will's way.

But Will wasn’t just a “nice guy.”  He was respected in the Capitol.  And he used his power artfully.  I once got into a debate with him about something in the Capitol. As it happens with many debates in the Capitol, I can’t even remember the topic now.  But at the end of our heated discussion, Will said two words that diffused the debate and brought the discussion to a diplomatic halt.  He said, “Fair enough.”  Fair enough?  Wow. There was something about it that was so… so... Will.  In just two words, he was able to completely disagree, yet communicate that he wasn’t about to ruin a working relationship (even with little 'ole me) over the subject matter.  Fair enough.  It is a phrase I found so powerful, that I have begun to use it over the past year to diffuse tense political situations.

I fully realize my memories of Will pale in comparison to the depth and length of the memories that his close friends and family share. Nevertheless, this week I found myself wallowing in worldly pity that "one of the good guys" was taken too soon. But, listening to the events of the night of his death,  the calm that now surrounds his family, and the indelible impression he made on so many in the State Capitol, it is clear now that Will’s life played out precisely how God intended.  Maybe God needed Will to resolve a political dispute in Heaven.  Maybe God needed another angel in Haiti this week.  Maybe He just needed another player on that big Basketball team in the sky.  True, it is sad for us who have been left behind, but God apparently needed Will more than we did.

Fair enough.

Andrew Breitbart's BigJournalism.com reports that U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid isn't the only one in the Democrat Party spewing Racism.

According to the new book, Game Change by Time magazine reporter Mark Halperin and John Heilemann, Bill Clinton has got some 'splaining to do, too.

Last year while stumping for his wife, then-Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton reportedly went to Senator Ted Kennedy to gain his endorsement.  During the meeting, the two men discussed Barack Obama about whom Bill Clinton reportedly said, "A few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee."

Kennedy rightfully rebuffed the Clintons and then endorsed Obama, no doubt thinking about the Civil Rights fights his brothers had endured - and died for.

As for Bill Clinton, well... me thinks his Arkansas roots are showing.

This is a man known for his "Global" cache' and, oh yeah, his nickname as "America's First Black President."  But deep down, 'ole Billy Boy has shown his true colors.

For those of you keeping score at home, it's now TWO major leaders of America's Democrat Party who have made lewd, unacceptable remarks about our President.  It's one thing to critique President Obama on policy or politics (as I have often done). It's quite another to comment on the color of his skin.

News reports show that Harry Reid spent the majority (no pun intended) of his Saturday dialing various Civil Rights leaders and the White House to apologize for his Racist remarks.  Perhaps Bill Clinton is doing the same today. 

Who knows, with friends like these, the White House might just need to set up a Hotline.

Hey, Harry Reid... The KKK called, and they want their white sheet back.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has now apologized for a Racist remark he made about President Barack Obama.  Politics Daily reports that the Leader of the Senate said, "[Obama is a] light-skinned African American with no Negro dialect unless he wanted to have one."

The Racist remark has surfaced in a new book, Game Change by Mark Halperin and John Heilemann, that provides a behind-the-scenes look at the 2008 Presidential Election.  Reid apologized today, saying it was "a poor choice of words."  I'll say.

Why this story was held until the weekend to break is beyond me.  And why no one is calling for Reid's resignation as Senate Leader is also disappointing.  Didn't we force Trent Lott to resign - not just from his leadership post, but from his entire seat - for a similar remark?  The double standard is astonishing.

I suppose the saying goes, "If a Tree Falls in a Forest...".  The same applies to Racism...so long as a Liberal Democrat says it, no one hears it.

Either way, I suppose the bad karma is enough.  A new Poll this week shows that Reid is now viewed unfavorably by his own constituents, and would lose to ANY of his GOP opponents if the 2010 Election were held today.

Full story here: www.politicsdaily.com/2010/01/09/reid-apologizes-for-racial-remark-about-obama-and-also-sinks-in/?icid=main|htmlws-main-n|dl1|link4|http://www.politicsdaily.com/2010/01/09/reid-apologizes-for-racial-remark-about-obama-and-also-sinks-in/

Remember when the Press poked endless fun at Vice President Dan Quayle for misspelling the word “Potato” in front of a classroom full of kids?

Well, if you thought Dan Quayle was bad...

Yesterday, Hilllary Clinton’s State Department announced that they “could have” captured the suspicious Northwest Flt. 253 bomber before he boarded an airliner on Christmas Day, had it not been for one minor detail.  They misspelled his name.

Yep.  They misspelled his name.

It turns out that the underwear bomber’s problematic Visa status was actually listed in the security database, unlike the State Department previously reported.  That's the good news.  The bad news, of course, is that his name was misspelled by just one letter.

I mean, who can blame them?  Abdulmutallab is a difficult name to spell.  But then again, so is Mohamed Atta, Moussaoui, and oh yeah, OSAMA BIN LADEN.  I mean, doesn’t THAT guy spell his name with a “U” sometimes? …Usama bin Laden?  These people couldn’t find my cat if it was sitting in a paper bag on their desk.

Heads should have rolled over this senseless Security breach.  As it stands today, all of the Department heads in the Obama Administration maintain their cushy government posts.  And certainly none of these appointees in the disastrous chain of command appear to have the honor to fall on their sword and step aside so that someone more competent can step in to protect the American public.

Ladies and not-so-gentle people, the Obama Administration needs to wake up and smell the slightly weak, 30,000-ft. drip-brewed coffee.  These are the folks in charge of our personal security.  Our National security.  I don’t know about you, but it’s enough to make me want to clutch the airline sickness bag and flee for the emergency exit.

I have flown for years for my job, sometimes flying two, three, four times per week without batting a pretty eyelash.  But I, for one, haven’t flown since the holidays, and I plan to avoid it like the swine flu.   I’m under no disillusionment.  I realize I am one in a million faces to the TSA’s rented $8-an-hour wand-waving clowns, but I am a human life, after all, … One that deserves not to be snuffed out by a man hiding a bomb in his pants, simply because some overweight pencil pusher at State didn’t have the time to proof read their work.  I am at a loss.  All I can say is, may God bless the 2 million souls flying in the U.S. today.  They'll need it.

During the holidays, I had a few days off to see the latest releases in the movie theatres – a treat which I find hard to afford myself during the regular work year (I mean, who has time to be in a dark theatre, away from the Blackberry for 2 hours?).  But over the holidays, I entered into this world filled with fresh-popped popcorn, limitless sodas, even my daily vocabulary took on a whole new vernacular: "Save me a Seat?”

Just six days into the New Year, this phrase is now taking on a whole new meaning as Democrat incumbent politicians are fleeing their seats in order to save it for someone else less tarnished by the Party.

Democrats who are running for the fire exits?  Colorado Governor Bill Ritter has announced he will step down; Michigan Lt. Governor Cherry announced he will not run for re-election; and North Dakota Senator Byron Dorgan also announced yesterday he will not run for re-election.

And late last night, the news broke that Senator Chris Dodd (D – Connecticut) will not seek re-election this year.  This is big news.  Dodd has been a mainstay of the Democrat establishment for five terms and a favorite of the mainstream media as a guest any given Sunday on the weekly political chat shows.  

The chairman of the Senate Banking Committee and the godfather of the massive housing meltdown, Dodd received special interest percentage rates on his own home loan as he was negotiating for the rest of America’s loans.  In my view, it’s fitting that as millions of Americans are now losing their homes, that Chris Dodd will lose his job.

But it’s not all good news for Republicans. Most insiders suspect that Dodd is stepping down from his seat in order to “save his seat.”  According to the latest poll numbers, Dodd faces a snowball’s chance in Connecticut for re-election, however, another Democrat with less baggage just might have a chance.  Dodd is taking one for the team.

Even if another Democrat takes Dodd’s seat, one thing is certain: his career ender means the writing is on the wall for Dems - especially ones that had a role in the destruction of the financial institutions in America.  

Either way, this all but guarantees the Fall 2010 Elections will be quite a Show.  Mmmm... Pass the popcorn?

So much for the Gold Rush.

 

Did you know that the U.S. Military is providing security for the Chinese government, as the Chinese are taking Copper from Afghanistan?

 

$88 Billion in Copper, to be exact.

 

The Chinese apparently won the rights from the Afghan government (who was set free courtesy of the U.S.), to mine valuable Copper from the valley Southwest of Kabul, Afghanistan.  There are an estimated 240 million tons of Copper ore which will help China sustain its insatiable appetite for growth, since Copper is used in everything from to batteries to electrical wires to computers.  (Copper has become an in-demand commodity even in the U.S., as telephone utilities seek to more vigorously protect their Copper wiring from poachers.)

 

According to McClatchy Newspapers, "...the U.S. Army is providing the security that will enable China to exploit one of the world's largest unexploited deposits of copper, earn tens of billions of dollars and feed its voracious appetite for raw materials."

 

So, why is the U.S. Military providing security for the Chinese?

 

U.S. Military experts say the original intent wasn’t to provide security for the Chinese, but that the road leading into the Copper mine was becoming rife with warfare, so the U.S. set up camp just outside of it.  Second, the Copper endeavor will reportedly provide thousands of jobs over the next 7 years, and let’s face it, “jobs” equal “stability” in that country. That makes sense.

 

What doesn’t make sense is the U.S. Military putting forth its men so that another nation can profit. Especially a nation who rarely has our best interest in mind.   

 After all, China provides significantly fewer resources to the War on Terror in Afghanistan than the U.S. does.  But the Chinese are doing what the Chinese do best – taking full advantage of a crisis.

 

My question is, shouldn’t the U.S. Government require that a certain amount of the Copper proceeds go to the U.S. to pay for the protective services we provide?  Or at the very least, some of the funds go toward paying for the War in Afghanistan?

 

The blood of our American soldiers has been shed for freedom for the Afghan people. Shedding blood so that the Chinese can become rich? Well, that’s just beyond the call of duty.

This time of year, I’m always interested to read various sources that forecast what lies ahead for the New Year.

While I personally take my strength from God, I do often look to other sources for amusement, education, and additional information.  Sources I read include the Liturgical Calendar of the Catholic Church; predictions from Political pundits who’ve proven to be accurate in previous years; Astrology; and even Chinese Astrology.

According to Chinese Astrology, 2010 is going to be “The Year of the Tiger.”  

With references to Tiger Woods and all giggles aside, there are some interesting predictions for 2010 that I believe will ring true.  And while the Chinese New Year does not officially arrive until February, here is a sneak peek at what these ancient forecasters predict.

2010 “The Year of the Tiger” can best be described as the following:

•    The year of the Tiger “symbolizes Toughness, Generosity and Wealth earned with Hard Work”;

•    In 2010, “Decisive and Fresh Politicians will come to Power” (I must say, I like that!);

•    Love will “Reign” this year, solely because the Chinese Lunar New Year begins on February 14th this year – St. Valentine’s Day – ushering in a year of expressions of love for all those around you.  Prepare to wear your Heart on your Sleeve! xo

•    2010 will be an outstanding year for you, like none in recent history, if you were born in the Chinese years of the signs of the: Horse (1942, 1954,1966, 1978, 1990, 2002), Dog (1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994), Tiger (1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998), Dragon (1952, 1964, 1976, 1988), Sheep, or Ox (as I was, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997).  For those especially, this is the year to “start something new” and experience great success.   *to see which Chinese sign you were born under, visit: www.gotohoroscope.com/chinese-astrology.html.

•    This year will be "A Year of Serious Change in every sphere of Life”;

•  While 2010 will be “relatively Unstable” especially in the financial arena, “Spiritually, the year 2010 will be so Fruitful and Positive” that everything else “will just seem trifles.”

•    Prepare to bunker down with the family.  Because of the exterior turmoil in the World outside of the home, the Year of the Tiger is a “Dutiful, Generous, and Family-oriented year.”  Dust off those board games!

•    The year is predicted to be one of “Great Social Upheaval” and therefore, people who thrive on Change and Unpredictability in their professional lives will succeed in 2010.

While the Prez is still sunning his buns in Hawaii, a few things still puzzle me about the attempted Terrorist attack on Christmas Day.

For instance, why did it take 3 full hours for his Staff to wake the President when the news broke of an attempted Terror attack aboard NWA Flt. 253 - especially when initial calls from Reporters suggested there was not one, but two, attacks in progress.  And why did it take the President 3 days to respond to the American people about the threat?

William Tate over at The American Thinker blog has come up with what took Obama so long...

Top Ten reasons Obama would claim for taking so long to respond to attempted Terror attack:

10.  My teleprompter was on vacation last week.

9.  Polishing a Nobel Prize takes longer than you think.

8.  It was Bush's fault. (Hey, it worked last year.)

7.  The waves here in Hawaii are bitchin', dude.

6.  Janet Napolitano said the system worked great, even if I couldn't get email on my Blackberry for a while there.

5.  This sort of thing just ain't supposed to happen on my watch.

4.  It was Bush's fault.

3.  Axelrod never told me I'd have to work holidays.

2.  I was busy celebrating Festivus.

And the Number One excuse Obama can give for taking so long to respond to the attempted attack on Northwest Flight 253:

1.  I was busy looking for my birth certificate.